where the past five months went

WithLove-janecoquillon-heart3-shadowSo, without bringing anyone down, I wanted to share what we’ve been through in the last 12mths.
I know I’m not the only one who suffers on-and-off with depression and it’s important that our stories are shared.

This could be a bit of a long post, so please bear with me…WithLove-janecoquillon-heart1-shadow

I’ve had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since I got Glandular Fever (mono) at 16, which was plenty of reason to feel down over the past 25 years (I’m 41). This time was different, so we all kind of missed the warning signs for quite a while.

I learnt something…
depression doesn’t necessarily mean feeling sad
instead this year my emotions were numbed,

I lost interest in everything around me.

To make it easy to follow, here it is in point form:
WithLove-janecoquillon-flower2-shadowOctober 2012

  • Hubby made redundant
  • Lasted 6wks – he took on a 12mth contract because Christmas was coming up

WithLove-janecoquillon-flower1-shadowDecember 2012

  • My mother had open heart surgery for a valve replacement – we joke that she smells like bacon now because of the pig valve!
  • L finished year six in the same week (lots of tears & worry), with her presentation evening the same day as Mum’s surgery.
  • Mum came home on Christmas Eve, to stay with us for six weeks.

WithLove-janecoquillon-flower2-shadowJanuary – February this year

  • Hubby was working incredibly long hours
  • L started high school (and loved it)
  • Mum went home

April –WithLove-janecoquillon-flower1-shadow Mid June

  • By now, I knew that everyone else was going to be fine
  • I began to feel kind of numb & disinterested in the things and people around me
  • Lost my appetite (and 10kg / 1st, 8lb)
  • Stopped painting, stopped enjoying anything

WithLove-janecoquillon-flower2-shadowLate June

  • Realised that I was depressed and saw our doctor
  • Began medication on the same day Hubby was made redundant for the second time.


  • I began to feel again
  • Began enjoying things again
  • Picked up my paintbrush and had a ball!


  • Hubby found a great job and started work!!!


Needless to say, life could have been better – but it certainly could have been a lot worse..WithLove-janecoquillon-heart2-shadow

Nobody died, my marriage didn’t fail and we didn’t lose the house.
Yes, it could have been a whole lot worse, and for a lot of people it is.

WithLove-janecoquillon-heart3-shadowIt took three months for me to feel I was almost whole again, and I’m so lucky to have had my wonderful husband at home to care for me throughout the episode, regardless of the reason.

Mental illness is a terrible label for this, depression is a physical illness, with physical causes and often at least a partial physical cure in the form of medication.

There’s nothing shameful in taking a tablet for blood pressure,
and the same is true for depression.

WithLove-janecoquillon-heart1-shadowEven someone with experience dealing with depression can still miss all the signs.

If you’re having difficulty coping, it is just so important to ask (and keep asking) for help.

6 thoughts on “where the past five months went

  1. Jane you mentioned so many important points about depression here. I am glad you shared your story. So often depression is not talked about and often misunderstood. Above all else I am glad you are feeling whole again my far away friend. I too knew all the signs and yet completely missed seeing them in myself when I became severely depressed back in 1999. I have suffered chronic bouts of depression since and have been on medication for a number of years now. Some day I hope to manage without the meds but for now they help keep my life on track.I don’t think anybody who hasn’t experienced clinical depression will ever understand how physically debilitating it can be. I hope the coming new year brings you a multitude of blessings. Hugs xxx

  2. l love being your Wonderhubby.
    We managed ourselves through change and uncertainty with inner peace, acceptance, love , patience and trust.
    we showed to kids that changes forced On us are NOT the end of the world.
    we nurtured each other and our little family ,
    plus we nurtured the Tawny Frogmouth family, magpie family and now the Kookaburras .
    You and I are closer than ever and You have grown in Yourself, and your painting is much deeper and more engaging.
    So except for the stress, numbness, uncertainty, financial restrictions and temporary setbacks, it was actually a really good year.
    Finally just wanted to express to you and those people you inspire how proud I am of you, and how much I appreciate you. xxoo

  3. It is good that you are talking about your depression and that you started being active. I had depressions many years and I have a fatigue due to my cancer , so I know how hard it is. Art helps me staying on the positive side of life.
    Wish you all the best.

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